Thought I’d change the subject for a minute and share a small portion of my work day with you, my friends.
Thursday – A “domestic dispute” between two inmates takes place. Inmate A is discovered by his “girlfriend”, Inmate B to be cheating with another inmate. Inmate B, a known homosexual, entices Inmate A to meet him with the promise of wild oral sex! Inmate B slips into Inmate A’s dorm, and into the shower area they go. Inmate A drops his pants in anticipation. Inmate B whips out a razor and slices A’s scrotum to the point A’s left testicle drops through. It takes 28 stitches to put A back together again. Both inmates go to confinement (the box).
Saturday (today) – Inmate Dumbass has been contemplating a “penile implant” (a “pearl” as it is known on the compound) for a couple of days, now. He has finally gotten up the nerve to attempt the procedure. He removes the blade from his razor and makes a horizontal cut across (the width) his penis. Problem? Yes, my friends, he cut too deep. Blood every where. A trip to the hospital is required to stop the bleeding and stitch up Dumbass’s penis. He claims he cut himself shaving and is put back in his dorm upon his return from the hospital.
Saturday (today) – Yes, today was special for some reason. In the kitchen of the dining hall, Inmate A and Inmate B have a verbal disagreement. Inmate A hits Inmate B over the head with a pan, then punches Inmate B in the mouth knocking out a tooth and putting 8 stitches in B’s head. Both inmates go to the box.
Department of Corrections is hiring. Come join the fun.