Pop Quiz

Last night I had a very strange dream. Obama shipped the RNL crew to a deserted island. It was pretty funny, actually, because, while the boys argued on the best way to make a boat, I was frantically trying to figure out how to make a razor! (The thought of lookin like some European chick or Madonna was too unbearable for me!)  I promise I don’t make this itshay up.

This morning, my tiny little 7% tried to figure out why I had this silly dream. Was it politics, debating, despair, or the reference to Gilligan’s Island a few posts back? I thought it would be best to wash away the nuttiness and concentrate on some fun! Tomorrow’s a holiday, after all! So I thought I would give you all a chance to take a fun little quiz. Don’t be intimidated. I know you. I’m very well aware of your loud-mouthed opinions on how to build a boat.

Right then. Shall we begin? Oooh, wait! Big shout out to Sam’s Seafood & Oyster Bar in Lynn Haven! (It’s on the right before you cross the Bailey Bridge heading north.) I needed 2 pints of oysters and he came through fer lil ole me.  Kells hearts Sam…….and Apalachicola oysters.

Oh, my quiz! (Actually, one that I shamelessly stole from my favourite cheesehead.) The answers to this quiz are very crucial in understanding your true character. Please use as much detail as possible. If you become confused, I will help you……….well, in return for a razor.  Remember to breathe. Don’t hold your breath while taking a quiz!

 

A)     Coke or Pepsi? Why? (Must be at least one paragraph.)

B)      Color of your pants + Name of your last drink = Your band’s name. Tell us all about your band. It would be nice if you included venues, your style, extraneous adventures, &c.

C)      If it were not for your given name, what should you like to be called? Why?

D)     If you had been born of the superior sex, such as I, what should you like to be called? Did your parents have an opposite sex name for you?

P.S. – You will get extra credit if you make me laugh……

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29 thoughts on “Pop Quiz

  1. A) Coke or Pepsi? Why? (Must be at least one paragraph.)

    Coke…because you can’t snort Pepsi – c’mon, everybody knows that…and if you try, you just make a big mess. Enough said. Was this a trick question? Wait – are those cops? Did you call the cops?

    It’s OK, just a parking warden. Coke makes me paranoid.

    B) Color of your pants + Name of your last drink = Your band’s name. Tell us all about your band. It would be nice if you included venues, your style, extraneous adventures, &c.

    Blue Long Island Iced Tea – Arena rock, just finished our European tour where we played to intimate venues, not because we aren’t still popular, because we are just more discriminating about our fans. There’s Injun Jim on drums (he’s not really Native American, he is just Elizabeth Warren’s cousin), Booger Pete on bass (picked him up in Wewa), Chantelle on tambourine and chimes (she’s naked eye candy and Booger Pete’s girlfriend), Winston Churchill on keyboard (he’s a Brit and gets bombed all the time – get it – bombed all the time? Sometimes, I just kill myself!) and me, Magic Mike, the Ten Inches of Pleasure on lead vocals and lead guitar (it’s not what you think, ten inches is as far as I can see without my glasses). Like Spinal Tap, we take it all the way up to 11!

    I was once arrested for hashish possession in Istanbul and spent some time in a Turkish prison.

    C) If it were not for your given name, what should you like to be called? Why?

    Brad Pitt.

    He gets all the fine ass and damn, his hair looked so good in Legends of the Fall that I wanted to have sex with him – and I’m not even gay – at least not when I’m sober. Did I mention that I have been in a Turkish prison?

    Plus…Jennifer Aniston. When she was Rachel…and hot…and ooooo, yeah, Mrs. Smith in that spy movie…daaaaaaaammmn.

    Yeah, Brad Pitt would do it…bet he’s never done time in a Turkish prison – at least not with that hair.

    D) If you had been born of the superior sex, such as I, what should you like to be called? Did your parents have an opposite sex name for you?

    Well first, I don’t accept your premise but if I had an “innie” down there and not an “outie”, a secret garden instead of a twig and berries, the old meat and two veg, it would be Michelle, and yes, had I been born to star in the Vagina Monologues, my parents would have named me that – not Vagina Monologues, Michelle – naming someone “vagina” would just be stupid.

    Although something exotic like “Sookie” would have been cool, too. Sometimes when I put on my garter belt and thigh highs with my heels, I like to be called Sookie. But only on the weekends. But I’m not gay – not that there is anything wrong with that.

    Did I mention that I have been in a Turkish prison?

    • I’m going to have to give you an A+. I’m also going to have to give you extra credit because anyone that can cause a gigglepuss to giggle and laugh deserves 4 extra points. (I’ve yet to figure that bell-curve B.S. in grading…..)

      I hope you dug the outfits that the guards wore in the Turkish prison. (Yes, I designed them with a Goth/Gamer theme in mind.) Now, before you get any ill-conceived notions of your most gracious poser, er, poster, please know, that my infraction was merely for an illegal U-Turn. I really didn’t understand their strip-search, but hey, at least it wasn’t TSA! (By the by, I’m the one that recommended “Macho Man” by the Village People be played during that ordeal….more fun, right?)

  2. A)     Coke or Pepsi? Why? (Must be at least one paragraph.)

    Coke. There are many reasons that I prefer Coke to Pepsi. One reason is that I like the burning sensation it gives me when I drink it too fast. Also someone told me Coke could be used to clean blood off of upholstery, like in the back of a police car. Those are the reasons I prefer Coke to Pepsi.

    B)      Color of your pants + Name of your last drink = Your band’s name. Tell us all about your band. It would be nice if you included venues, your style, extraneous adventures, &c.

    The name of my band is Beige Mirror Pond Pale Ale. I auditioned for bass but the lead singer got mad at me because I have my own way of doing things. After one gig they kicked me out, but I kept going to their shows and heckling them until they decided to give up music altogether.

    C)      If it were not for your given name, what should you like to be called? Why?

    If it were not for my given name, I should like to be called Thunder-Cat, because that is just bad ass.

    D)     If you had been born of the superior sex, such as I, what should you like to be called? Did your parents have an opposite sex name for you?

    My parents did have an opposite sex for me. I would have been Christen Muffy. I would have been enrolled in dance lessons and eventually made appearances on Entertainment Tonight. I am eternally grateful to my creator for making me the inferior sex.

    P.S. – You will get extra credit if you make me laugh……

    Well, did this half-assed attempt at humor make you laugh, Kells?

    • I have renewed hope in the RNL boys! Yes, Muffy, I’m giggling and laughing! I must confess that I’ve needed the laugh today……and the break from business as usual. Do you know, in my dream, you sided with B. on how to build a boat? I didn’t know how wise that decision was……………..still I give you an A+ and extra credit! Just think, you can proudly turn in your report card, and you will not have to nab some grown-up off the street forge your parent’s signature!

      Haha! That was a joke! We both know that this skill is mastered in the third grade.

  3. Shouldn’t that be “Yes we can” Justin ?……’In keeping with the situation’ to paraphrase Alitair Sim’s A Christmas Carol.

    • Well, maybe, DonAmeche, but, I think the main idea of going off to some exotic island is to ‘escape’ the situation. Wow that sounds nice now that I think of it.

  4. How very clever of Texas and Don to evade the quiz. I must believe they would be the ones hiding when KP duty came around on the island. Not to be a braggadoccio, but I would so kick your tails on that Survivor show.

  5. A) Coke………………What’s Pepsi?

    Anyway, things go better with it right… ;- )) .

    B) I’m not wearing any pants…….but looking down I see a pair of Silk Grey “shorts”…..( cause my SO thinks they’re….Cute….??). Last Brewski was Sierra Pale Ale….So the ‘Grey Silk Sierra Jazz Hounds’ would be the name of the Band…….A cross between a Jay McShann inspired ensemble with a 20’s washboard juke sound, with all the appropriate ‘shuck & Jive’ when needed.

    We did one helluva Bat Mitsva……sadly we weren’t aked back for the Bat Mistvah… ;- ((. Perhaps it was the Henny Youngman impersonations.

    C) If not for my given name I would like to be called….Central Power & Light….or…Consolidated Edision…..wouldn’t everybody? Aside from being way Cool…..You would get birthday checks every month from all kinds of Folks you don’t even know.

    D) Waddaya mean ?…… I was born of the superior Sex.
    And yes,My parents certainly had some choice alternate names for me and my brothers……can I say them here though ?? But somehow I KNOW that “Mary Anne” would NOT be a good choice for this question huh?

    I love women’s names that end in A . And in “ie” or “y”………….Hatshepsut would not be one of my favorites…although she was quite a gal from all accounts.

  6. A quick response….my quiz was written before I saw Kells recent comment…….I day traded the Bonds for years….I am a survivor.. ;- )) .

  7. Thanks KB from PC……..I haven’t gone thru all the Vids yet….But real glad yahs didn’t give me homework with that A+.. ;- )) .

    I’m not real good at the links thingy ( unless it’s sausage links from the fridge…straight in to the pan ). But I believe the “sold my soul to the Devil”, standing at the “Crossroads” ( 1st made famous for us Whiteys Eric the Clapton way back 1960’s time ) was older lore than even Robert Johnson. It is referenced by Hendrix in some of his interviews as being very old in origin. The whole Dockery Plantation…Charlie Patton on up to Robert Johnson music scene is soul catching even without the “devil” being involved. I’ve seen some of Steve Vai on various u-tubes….like him a lot.

    I am quite a fan of older Jazz…..some call it Traditional Jazz…..but that could better be used for the DixieLand Style starting in the Revival of the 1940s to the 1960s…..Really.Good stuff. But I make a distinction between the Hot 5s and 7s and JR Morton ( hot Peppers) circa1922-1927 and Trad Jazz…. Songs like Creole Bo Bo…..West Ends Blues….Gut Bucket Blues….1929 Knockin a Jug and Mahagony Hall Stomp…..JrMortons 1926 Doctor Jazz and Black Bottom Stomp….Clarence Williams Chizzlin Sam 1933…….though I am also an unabashed Fan of Freddie King and Albert King as well as more modern interpretations like Duke Robillard…..and on alternate Sundays I’ll be found listening to Patti Lupone’s “Don’t cry for me Argetina”…..the Los Angeles production with Mandy Patinkin.

    Sorry to be so long winded but perhaps ur son will like some of the older stuff….it is important to pass it on…..You remind me a bit of J Thurber’s “War between men and Women”….but with much more funner reparte…..Cheers on Thankful Feast Day !

    • :::swoons:::

      I tell you, if you listen to some of the older composers who were breaking away from “classic” classical (using 7, 9, 11 chords) you can hear how they may have been an influence on American jazz. I believe American jazz had its own style which in turn influenced classical composers. It is as if they influenced one another. Listen to Debussy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu4KObwynSc

      He died in 1918, but you can hear the chords were a break away from the norm.

      Have a great Thanksgiving Day, Don!

      • Mizz Kells….Thank you again for the Audio references on the “tube”. We have a 16.97 lb Organic Turkey and since there were argumen….err Discussions as to the cooking time amongst the women folk, I became scarce and retired to the “Home Occiff” for a spell.
        The R Johnson utube ..Hot Tamales, I think that song is a very old Local Hokum done in and around New Orleans….there are versions by various Jazz bands in the 1920s ( including at least one With L Armstrong and his wife Lil Hardin)….as such it ( and its ilk) forms part of the Backdrop of the begginings of Jazz along with Blues and road show tunes …..and (as you noted) the French Quadrilles from the 1860s. All of this mishmash went into the formation of Jazz. Because of the Various strong musical traditions in NO and the separation into Uptown and Downtown bands all the various musical forms blended into the new music. So yes you are correct. Bands like Piron’s New Orleans Orchestra (a Creole Band) played Offenbach as well as popular dance music……bands like Bolden’s played not only Syncopated “blues” but popular dance and vaudeville tunes as well. And The Funeral Dirges squeezed themselves in there somewhere.

        I think the syncopation found in turn of the Century Ragtime AS WELL AS in more conventional composers like Beethovan morphed easily into this new “amalgam music” circa 1890-1910 New Orleans…..the forms became interchangable and ‘ragging” or applying some syncopation to the tune became expected in the Social Clubs and dancing venues for BOTH uptown and downtown audiences. (and perhaps for the 14 or so various sexual orientations found in the Big Easy).
        There is a Piece by Beethovan where you can clearly hear syncopation…..a 1973 recording published in 1982 by pianist Paul Badura-Skoda…Sonatas no21 in C and No 32 in c….not all through-out, but in places. I am no expert in any of this the Ludvig Van reference was given to me by my mother many moons ago…..There are other examples I’m sure. I liked the Debussy ‘tube’.you highlighted…Very familier with the music but never knew the name. As to the Musique de la Frogs..I am currently exploring Gabriel Faure……There is an EMI set by French Pianist J P Collard 1990…..the 13 Barcarolles and 5 Impromtus….you might like these. On hold…But Next on tap is Faure’s Pelleas et Melisande and Dolly…….however Holandes election has left me with indigestion for “snails” at present.

        There is a great Audio Reference done in 1938 by Alan Lomax for the Library of Congress. He recorded Jell Roll Morton describing the Music scene in NO around 1897-1910…..he references the French quadrilles, the EARLY ragtime Players from Florida and all the various influences……caution is advised though. You might want listen with Mr Kells. Morton employs “colorful” metaphors, esp when well lubricated with adult beverages….so you might want to have a Hand-hold with hubby….who will be able to interpret some of the idiom for you… ;- )).

  8. A) Coke or Pepsi? Why? (Must be at least one paragraph.)

    Coke. I don’t particularly like either, but Coke will take bug guts off your windshield and corrosion off your car battery terminals. I suspect Pepsi will do the same thing but I’m a southerner and if it’s a cola – then it’s called Coke or in days of yore, Cocoler. Personally I like ginger (ale) mixed with Crown Royal.

    B) Color of your pants + Name of your last drink = Your band’s name. Tell us all about your band. It would be nice if you included venues, your style, extraneous adventures, &c.

    The color of my pants (assuming you do not mean underpants which are red satin strings) are blue – blue jeans, blue jeans, blue jeans. The name of my band is actually the CCC Worship team where I play lead guitar every Sunday and have for the past 8 years. I have also played bass but a young (outstanding!) bass player came along and I got booted to lead. I love it. Because of my winning personality, sometimes I do piss off the other members of the team.

    C) If it were not for your given name, what should you like to be called? Why?

    If it were not for my given name, I should like to be called Bubba, because I get called Cracka at my job daily, and all good southerners should be called Bubba.

    D) If you had been born of the superior sex, such as I, what should you like to be called? Did your parents have an opposite sex name for you?

    My parents did not have an opposite sex name for me to my knowledge, but had I been born a woman, I would have probably been called whore, slut, or lesbian. I will leave it to you to figure out why.

    P.S. – You will get extra credit if you make me laugh……

    Hopefully, you got a chuckle. :-)

  9. Yes, you made me laugh! I love when you boys are funny! A+ and extra credit! Also, I never knew of the many uses for coke. It’s official. Pepsi is a lib drink!

    Dang! I need to skip church and hear you play one Sunday…….. Bubba! I have a hard time on the guitar; must be my fat fingers or that I never took lessons…Mr. Kells tells me that I play it upside down and backwards! I suppose that works quite nicely in this day and age…

    FL, you are so my ho! Everyone else will just have to call you Verna.

    Enjoy your Thanksgiving, FL! Hopefully, this day will keep you off the phone. Uh-huh! I know your dirty little secret! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=4wr2Nh8Pf2A&NR=1

  10. A) Coke or Pepsi? Why? (Must be at least one paragraph.)
    Dr. Pepper is the only soft drink I have ever liked……………… but, I drink about a gallon of lemonade daily.(sorry for the short paragraph)
    B) Color of your pants + Name of your last drink = Your band’s name. Tell us all about your band. It would be nice if you included venues, your style, extraneous adventures, &c.
    I am wearing Advantage timber camouflage pants and just finished a lemonade…….so Advantage timber camouflage lemonade would be a band that probably never made it to a gig sober enough to perform.
    C) If it were not for your given name, what should you like to be called? Why?
    I have had the nickname of “tripod” since high school and have been called that probably more than my real name. I can’t say I ever liked being called that but some of the other choices I had were even less acceptable. Since the computer age, I have chosen the screen-name and been called Flasawdust alot, so I guess I would say that is what I would like, even though all the folks shorten it to Dusty.
    D) If you had been born of the superior sex, such as I, what should you like to be called? Did your parents have an opposite sex name for you?
    I have never considered an alternate sex name, I guess because I have never considered changing sexes…………hmmmm, maybe Dusty would work there.

    • You boys rock! (or maybe I’m just a softie with grades…. A+ and extra credit!) I must tell you that I heard a naughty rumour bout the Advantage Timber Camouflage Lemonade band when they performed for the troops. Do you know I saw a rare photo of Hillary on stage with you guys? You probably don’t even remember. From the looks of it, neither does she. Is she really one of your groupies? You can tell me…..

      Would you believe that I have to have a pitcher of lemonade in the fridge at all times for the boys? Speaking of boys, I’m about to lose it! Why the hello do you dump these nutcases off over here, when I’m already going nuts??!! Yes, cook, clean and pick up after the slobasaureses while you’re at it, hostess Kells! I think I need to send them over to your place……

      Dusty, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving! Here’s your female side: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9NY3P1QwWw

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