Food Porn

Special Edition: Augger’s Fried Chicken.

Who loves you? It’s all because I know what you want, what you really, really want. (Rule 5 ain’t got nuthin on this pure, unadulterated, succulent piece of satisfaction……jes sayin.)

Before I get carried away by the thought of this beauty’s leg, let me back up a little. On another post, Augger and I were discussing fried chicken. Don’t ask me details because I can’t remember. I can only vaguely recall his description…….

Look, Kells, ya get all the fats that you can round up (chicken, beef, pork, lard,) throw em together, and let em have a low simmering orgy for a loooong time. When you’re about to fry that chicken, introduce a stick of butter to em, and turn up the heat. That butter just tickles the others, so they brown and crisp that skin, and leave her really moist on the inside.

This sounded sick…………………which could only mean that I had to try it.

 

Yeah, he was right. Sorry, I prematurely presented. (If you were here, you would’ve bitten her too!)

However; I did put my spin on his method. (I have boobs, therefore, I can) and took pics for all of you voyeurs.

The night before this glorified greasy endeavor, I marinated my chicken in hot sauce (I like it spicy.)

Next, I gathered up my bacon grease (complete with bits) and let it slowly simmer with lard….

 

Yes, I, too, became strangely fascinated. While these fats had their consummation time, I prepared my batter:

 

(Yes, I subbed cayenne for black pepper.) The time had now come when the stick of butter had to make her grand entrance (sans Brando)…..

 

Yes, the butter was the life of the party! I proceeded to make a plate consisting of a drumstick (my favourite) and some fried okra.

As you can see, there are bacon bits that adhere to the skin. It is very delicious. The boys deemed it the best fried chicken they’d ever had. For me, next time I will omit the salt in the batter as the bacon is salty enough.

While this chicken seduces the heart into having a very intimate relationship with its cardiologist, I hope this edition of Food Porn has been satisfying to your senses, nonetheless.

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6 thoughts on “Food Porn

  1. Oh Kells, how you hath done won my heart. The Texas Pete is a fine touch indeed. I you ever considered using that hot sauce in a brine? :)

    • Haven’t had the best of luck brining meat. I have a specific brine for smoking fish which is outstanding because it takes into account the molecular changes that happen during the process. It’s very good……

      • Kells, it’s really simple … especially in poultry. You use a 1:8 cup ratio if salt to water, and then add whatever spices, or additive to the brine. Poultry has little to no salt content, so the salt will “draw” from the more salty environment to the less … taking your seasonings with it. Small chickens can be brined in just a few hours, 3 at most, where as a turkey should be brined for 12-24 hours.

  2. I will try just as soon as I check on my Life Insurance and Will. What is the name of this succulent Chicken? The “Widow Maker”? By the way I marinate my chicken overnight in Tequila, lime, cilantro and cumin with a touch of honey. If you want spicy marinate overnight in Chipotle Adobe Sauce.

  3. ^The Widow Maker! :lol: That would be Hillary. Mmmmmm……must try your tequila marinade. I dig chipotle adobe; smoky kinda heat…..maybe with chocolate and an acid like tomatoes? Now, you’ve got me thinkin, Ross (never a good thing.)

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