With 8 size 4 1/2’s:
To all of you who posted in support of our losing our dog, Buster, I’d like you to meet the newest members of our household. The monster on the right is Chief. When we went to pick out a puppy, he was acting a lot like Buster. We knew he was for us. But that spunky fellow on the left, Chip, was too cute and too loveable to leave behind, so he joined his brother and came home with us, too. Now, we just need to convince our girl dog, Suzy, that these two guys can actually fill Buster’s paws – IF she’ll let them. We still feel a massive void around here, but we have new life and are looking forward to finding out who these two will be and seeing how the three will get along. 🙂
That said, I will tell you that the loss of Buster tore a hole in my soul that left a deep, dark void and – to be frank – it terrifies me. Anyone who has spent any real time with me in person will tell you I am exceptionally self-aware. I generally know exactly what I am doing and why – even when I don;t like myself for doing it. But the loss of this dog has hit me harder than the loss of most the people in my life and I do not understand why. For me, that uncertainty about myself is an alien feeling and that terrifies me. But, luckily, given enough brink and mortar, a void can be walled over and, with time, pushed to the back of our memories. Right now, I hope that Chip and Chief will be that brick and mortar and that getting to know them will provide me the time I need to push this void aside because, honestly, I have a suspicion of what I will find in there and I know I am not strong enough to face it right now if I am correct.
So, for now, my posts will slack off and, when I do post, you will DEFINITELY see a change: a change that reflects the change that took place in me when I said good-bye to a friend I had no idea I loved so much – or needed 😦