Boston Bans Booze, Broads, and Bets for Welfare Beneficiaries

In yet another instance of poor-bashing, the city of Boston has decided to prevent its welfare recipients from spending their hardly-earned money on alcohol, cigarettes, strippers, and tattoos.

Without so much as a do-you-mind?, authorities have been passing regulations that outlaw the use of a recipient’s EBT card in bars, tattoo parlors, and racing venues. Other states are reprogramming the ATM’s in certain businesses so that they will not accept the EBT’s(electronic  benefit transfer cards) at all.

Now I ask you, with this fresh wind of oppression blowing in our face, how long will it be before this trend whips up a perfect storm  of forbidden items? Are X-boxes far behind? High-dollar pedicures? Nike Air Jordan Silvers?

Those in favor of the trend say it won’t hurt those who are seriously trying to do right with the money that they receive, because they aren’t doing these things anyway. Isn’t that the same thing as the police saying that searching your car for contraband shouldn’t bother you, if you have no contraband? And isn’t that against the Constitution?

Some of these so-called welfare abusers are trying hard to make money, you know. Which is why they go to the betting parlor in the first place and, before buying the baby’s formula, attempt to parlay their benefit into something worthwhile. Isn’t that the American way? Are we going to sit by while millions of Americans are denied the right to place a bet on Lady Sally to win in the fourth?

This goes beyond the poor. Tattoo artists and strippers will be impacted, their earning power reduced, and I can see America spiraling into a depression, all because some bluenoses harumph at the idea of people having a good time, completely forgetting that we all have a right to the pursuit of happiness, which should not be infringed.

Speaking of infringement, Colorado and Indiana have passed laws barring benefit money from being used to purchase guns! 2nd Amendment! 2nd Amendment! The NRA needs to get behind this, and fast!

I will let Christopher Borges, who’s attempt to buy smokes with his EBT card was refused by a subsequently-fired cashier, have the last word…

“Why do people who are sick or unemployed need to justify their spending habits, simply because they are in receipt of support from their community (transferred via the government in the form of cash)?”

Yes, can someone please give Mr. Borges an answer?

15 thoughts on “Boston Bans Booze, Broads, and Bets for Welfare Beneficiaries

  1. I’m frightened now. They have taken away my regular hobo haunts (yes, there was a reason I was at Tan Fannies.) Where will I acquire hobos now? I do believe it is time to set up a petition for Mr. Borges. He has the right to a puff and by gosh by golly we aught to be compassionate enought to pay for it! After he wins his case I shall bring him to Rick’s ranch. I’m to go hunting with the boys in a few months so this is perfect. Thanks for the lead, G.!

    • You wouldn’t; I go as a man. I was a regular when FL was working there. (He was a bartender because they said he couldn’t dance.) Good times. Free drinks. But I don’t recall seeing you there. Were you lurking in the shadows taking notes, G.? Are you really G.? I see now that you have led me into some sort of trap. Look here, buddy! Christopher Borges is mine!

  2. Some of the people I saw at a local swimming hole today would certainly be impacted by this new legislation. You didn’t say it included dentists!

    • Thanks for inviting me….. Not! You know FL, I should’ve liked to have taken a dip today (hobos with bad teeth are prized by Rick.) So yeah, thanks…………………….for nuthin!!

      • Sorry kells. Today was “G” rated swimming. Had the two grandboys with me. Plenty of hobo-looking people there who apparently spent most of their money at the tattoo parlors and likely strip clubs as well. Speaking of “G”, I vaguely recall some white-bearded dudette standing in the corner at Fannies.

        • You don’t recall him being there because G. is actually a gumshoe! (I’ve done my own bit of investigating on this one.) Clearly he is working for M. in order to expose the outrageousness of these laws in order that we may still lure hobos. You probably sold him a drink…

          Hot bath time. I’m getting the giggles now because my son was watching this horror movie where the fella stuck the chick in scalding hot bath water and that killed her. (??) I would’ve thanked him for drawing the water for me.

          • I have most public pools rigged as hobo traps…they are just as effective as bug zappers…and those aren’t tattoos, they are brands. How are we supposed to keep up with our hobo herds if we don’t brand them?

            • When we are ready to take a couple out for a hunt, I get into my old truck, and drive until I see a haggard of hobos on a corner, and ask if any are looking for work. Inevitably, one or two will run into the nets my buds have stretched across the other end of the alley.

  3. Answer: Just keep allowing the government to expand, and see what happens ….

    Stay tuned, it only gets better. 🙂

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