RED SKELTON’S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

RED SKELTON’S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE cid:AD0B6A67F54642E5B413D10E816A8BC0@hp53d99f67d0d7

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said “There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”.

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was ‘Always’.

12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”.
Can’t you just hear him say all of these?

 

I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn’t have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.And he always ended his programs with the words,“And May God Bless” with a big smile on his face.

 

3 thoughts on “RED SKELTON’S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

  1. Number 7 hit home hard. She managed to put diesel fuel in my Porsche.
    (She’s an ex for a reason … she couldn’t mop well either.)

Talk Amongst Yourselves:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.