You might be a liberal….

Today I passed on some links to a girlfriend of mine, and she turned them into a very funny post which I thought I would share. (Sorry, G., no Hillary lesbo jokes….) Here we go then:

  • If you think Fox News is indoctrinating people but virtually every other mainstream news media is informing them, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think that hypothetical consequences of nonrenewable energy are dangerous, but care not at all for verified consequences of the current unsustainable debt, you might be a liberal.
  • If you are more concerned with the backlash against all Muslims for the violent acts committed by some Muslims than you are for the victims of that violence and the philosophy behind it, you might be a liberal.
  • If you make excuses for the outright lies of Obama, but refuse to tolerate the lies from anyone remotely connected to the GOP, you might be a liberal.
  • If you don’t know that the Nazis were the National Socialist Party, you might be a liberal.
  • If you condemn “war for oil” deaths of innocents, but condone drone murders ordered by the POTUS, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think you can add 30 million people to the Health Care system without adding any doctors, nurses, or hospitals, you might be a liberal.
  • If you get more upset about what Mitt Romney does with his money than what Barack Obama does with our money, you might be a liberal.
  • If you want the government out of our bedrooms, but want the government heavily involved in our light bulbs, diets, and contraception, you might be a liberal.
  • If you laughed at Bush’s “misunderestimate” but have nothing to say about Obama’s “57 states”, you might be a liberal.
  • If you burn tons of carbon to attend a global warming conference that only sanctions the cleanest nation on Earth, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think it is racist to wear a white hood and burn crosses, while simultaneously insisting that a certain group needs government mandates to obtain work, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think all women should be treated equally, unless they are conservative, you might be a liberal.
  • If you totally hate haters, and wish those violent bastards would just die, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think everyone would agree with you if they were open minded, and you refuse to listen to any other possibility, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think Bob the Builder’s tagline is a great campaign theme, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think people have too many kids, and that those kids need to pay for your Social Security, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think the rich are evil except for the rich democrat politicians and union bosses, you might be a liberal.
  • If you want to be more like Europe and less like the founding fathers, you might be a liberal.
  • If you spend your day telling people that a border fence can’t work, then drive home to your gated community, you might be a liberal.
  • If you believe that most of the people who are criticizing Barack Obama are doing it because he’s black, but you would be offended if someone said the only reason you criticize Mitt Romney is because you hate Mormons, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think a crucifix submerged in urine and burning the American flag should be protected under free speech, but any criticism of Mohammed along with right wing radio talk shows should be suppressed, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think the murder of the unborn is a woman’s right, but that hunting should be outlawed, you might be a liberal.
  • If you believe the government should not legislate morality, but that government should mandate the rich to help the poor, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think tapping terrorist cell phones was a civil rights violation, but being anally probed by TSA at airports is just an accepted part of air travel, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think drugs should be legalized and french fries should be criminalized, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think Gideons passing out Bibles is dangerous, but giving free needles to drug addicts is helpful, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think the GOP is engaging in a “war on women” but do not condemn the Muslim atrocities to women such as stoning, beating, pedophilia, betrothals, and female genital mutilations, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think it is deceptive for Romney to not release his tax returns, but think Obama’s college records are no ones business, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think that a Christian condemning homosexuality is hate speech, but a Muslim condemning homosexuality is religious free speech, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think Halliburton bidding for and winning government contracts was a scandal since Dick Cheney used to work there, but you think Barack Obama giving away 25 billion dollars in taxpayer money to help out his union cronies at GM and Chevrolet is honest and above reproach, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think religion is a cancer that is too intrusive on private lives, but that government mandates can solve all the problems of the world, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think more people on foodstamps than in the entire history of foodstamps is progress, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think the only way to find out what is in a bill is to make it a law first, you might be a liberal.
  • If you use the terms “Christards”, and “Jesus Freaks”, but think the terms “Faggots” and “Dike” are hate speech, you might be a liberal.
  • If YOU always know what’s best for EVERYONE ELSE, you might be a liberal.
  • If you decry the Catholic Church over pedophile priests, but believe that NAMBLA are just “minor attracted persons”, you might be a liberal.
  • If you believe the Constitution is living but unborn babies aren’t, you might be a liberal.
  • If you’re scared that cow farts are going to melt the ice caps, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think a drug addict/alcoholic has a right to a check from the government every month, but believe benefits to veterans should be cut, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think fundamental Christians are more dangerous than fundamental Muslims, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think guns kill, you might be a liberal.
  • If you think the bottom 50 percent paying nearly nothing, but the top one percent already paying almost 40 percent is still not their fair share, you might be a liberal.
  • If you believe pornography is protected speech, but public professions of faith should be banned, you might be a liberal.
  • If you say you don’t believe in torture but force us to listen to Obama speak, you might be a liberal.

2 thoughts on “You might be a liberal….

  1. One laugh, for the last line.

    If you Love America, but hate most everyone in it (Liberals, Muslims, the working poor[lucky duckies], unionized workers), you might be a conservative.
    If you think Obama is a Muslim, you Are a Conservative
    If you hate George Soros, but love he Koch brothers, you may be conservative
    If you think the New Black Panther Party is a real threat, we know who you are, Joe.

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