They Walk Among Us

Saw this on FaceBook:

Our society is doomed…………..

IDIOT SIGHTING

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00

I said “May I have large bills, please”

She looked at me and said “I’m sorry sir, all the bills are the same size.”

When I got up off the floor I explained it to her….

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’ His reply: ‘I know. I already got that side.’

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

We had to have the garage door repaired.

The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, ‘NO, it’s not..’ Four is larger than two.’

We haven’t used Sears repair since.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.

She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said ‘We’re sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.’

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.

— From Kansas City

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’

To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’

He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’ our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’

Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

How would you pronounce this child’s name?

“Le-a”

Leah?? NO

Lee – A?? NOPE

Lay – a?? NO

Lei?? Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.

Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.

It’s pronounced “Ledasha”.

When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “the dash don’t be silent.”

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don’t be silent.

 

They walk among us……and they VOTE.

18 thoughts on “They Walk Among Us

  1. Unfortunately, those that do vote almost certainly help to put America in the screwed up condition we are presently in. Thank God, most of them probably can’t find the voting booths.

  2. Unfortunately they are the majority and therefore we are screwed. Well for now anyhow! Excellent post as well.

  3. I bought a new iron a while back — you know, for ironing clothes. On the instructions, the warning section, cautions that I should not use this item while sleeping. I could just get angry that it’s a stupid piece of advice, but then it occurred to me — some Darwin Award winner actually must have tried to use this item while asleep.

    You really cannot make this stuff up.

    • One thing the RNL is good for……………… it proves that just because someone has an overpaid govt job and a piece of paper to hang on the wall from a college doesn’t mean they are any smarter than what I just flushed down the toilet.

      • “it proves that just because someone has an overpaid govt job and a piece of paper to hang on the wall from a college ”

        I guess I wouldn’t know. I have some of those pieces of paper, but not a government job–though several of the folks here have been employed by the government. And I suspect some of you have neither a job nor a degree.

        • I suspect that many of those that you have taught do have some of those pieces of paper, no job at all, but live in Section 8 housing, and drive around in cars with 26s rollin’, rollin’, rollin” …

          You teach where to get their grilles too, James? 🙂

          • “I would bet that half…”

            And as usual, you’d be wrong–in this case, by a long shot. Don’t you ever get tired of being wrong about things that a junior high student could look up? Nah, apparently not.

            • I don’t believe for one second that your school doesn’t suck all it can off the govt. But, I can GUARANTEE you that except for barely over $100/month I got for 4 years when I was in the US Navy and the GI Bill payments I got after I got out of the service, I have NEVER gotten one cent from any govt agency. Even though I have many opportunities during the 33 years I have been a general contractor, I have never contracted with any level of govt., federal, state or local. I have never received on cent in unemployment. I have paid out of pocket for close to 3/4 of a million $ in medical care that I could have made the govt pay for since every bit of it was caused by incidents that happened while I was in uniform. Unlike you asshat, I am the example of who doesn’t suck off the govt tit.

              • “during the 33 years I have been a general contractor, I have never contracted with any level of govt.”

                Thank God. Assuming they’d hire you, I wouldn’t want to risk being in any structure that you’d been involved with building. 😉

  4. Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (true story)

    British scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead
    chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity.

    The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

    American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on
    the Windshields of their new high speed trains.

    Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.

    When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of
    the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens,
    blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer’s back-rest in two and
    embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow..

    The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.

    You’re going to love this……

    Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:

    “Defrost the chicken” .

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