Inappropriate Joke Saturday

We really might want to consider a highly inappropriate joke day. Everybody needs a little break from the oppression of all politics, all the time nature of things. Stacy McCain of The Other McCain calls it “Rule 5” or the “Christina Hendricks Rule”, to wit:

“All politics all the time gets boring after a while. Observant readers will notice that the headlines at Hot Air often feature silly celebrity tabloid stuff and News Of The Weird. Even a stone political junkie cannot subsist on a 24/7 diet of politics. The occasional joke, the occasional hot babe, the occasional joke about a hot babe — it’s a safety valve to make sure we don’t become humorless right-wing clones of those Democratic Underground moonbats.”

I thought of this one when I was talking to a friend about Sigmund Freud supposedly saying that “Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar.”

A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane asylum that is renowned for their progressive rehabilitation methods.

They begin by visiting some of the patients. The first patient they visit is a young woman. She is practicing ballet. One of the psychiatrist asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I’m studying ballet so when I get out of here I can possibly join a troupe and be a productive member of society.” “Wow, that’s wonderful.”

The next person was a man reading a book with a pile of books next to him. The same question asked to him, “What are you doing?” “I’m studying biology, chemistry, etc. So I can enter medical school when I get out.”

Room after room, they witnessed the incredible success and attitudes of the patients. Until they finally reached a room the asylums director was reluctant to open.

Finally, he was persuaded to open it. Inside was a man balancing a large can of Planters peanuts on his penis. The reaction of the psychiatrist, “My God what are you doing?”

The man replied: “I’m fucking nuts and I’m never getting out of here!”

Ergo my assertion and acquiescence with Siggie – sometimes things are EXACTLY what they seem!

4 thoughts on “Inappropriate Joke Saturday

  1. I went to my doctor for a physical I got sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When I got there, I discovered the Urologist is a Very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, “I’m going to check your Prostate today, but this new procedure is a little Different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, Then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, ’99’. I said Ok and said “99”. The doctor says, “Great”, now turn over on your left side And again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, ’99”. Again, I said Ok and said ’99’.” The doctor said, “Very good”. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees Raised slightly. I’m going to check your prostate with this hand, and with The other hand I’m going to hold on to your penis To keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, ’99’. She took hold and I said “One…. Two… Three…”

  2. In the afternoon this guy drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake one guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures him to stop. Our guy rolls down the window, “How can I help you?” “I am the red bastard of the asphalt, you got something to eat?” With a smile in his face he hands one of his sandwiches to the red dressed guy and drives away. Not even five minutes thereafter he comes across another guy. This time the guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side and waving him to stop. A bit irritated our guy stops, cranks down the window. “What can I do for you?” “I am the yellow bastard of the asphalt, you got something to drink?” Hardly managing to smile this time he hands to the guy a can of coke and then stomps on the pedal and takes off again. In order to make it to the lakeside before sunset he decides to go faster and not to stop no matter what. To his frustration he sees another guy on the side, dressed all in blue, making a hand signal to stop him. Not quite willing our guy decides to stop a last time, rolls his window down and yells to the guy, “So, let me guess, you’re the blue bastard of the asphalt and just what the Fuck do you want?” Drivers license and registration please……………

  3. This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionalism goes right out the window…

    He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

    “Do you know what I am doing?” asks the doctor?

    “Yes, checking for abnormalities.” she replies.

    He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, “Do you know what I am doing now?”, she replies, “Yes, checking for cancer.”

    Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, “Do you know what I am doing now?”

    She replies, “Yes, getting herpes – that’s why I am here!”

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