Jury Duty: Chapter Three

Do I have some sort of antenna on my head that screams. “Pick me! Pick me!??? I got called for jury duty…….again! I didn’t write about my last two experiences, but I did write about one that I had a while back ago that I found on the RNL. I still stand by my thoughts from then……..and yeah, I still want to see Phoebe naked.

Today, I decided to see what the statute was to get out of jury duty. Basically, you must pay a $100 fine. This is rich. The last time I was there, it was til around 3:00. So 8:15 to 3:00, and $15 later, after having NOT been chosen, words cannot describe my happiness!! (No emoticons. If you don’t get it; you’re livin in a van down by the river.)

From my estimations, it seems the average time for jury duty is seven hours. If they charge you a 100 for missing, why the hello do they pay you 15 for the nonsense? It is nonsense. Draw names and knock the stupid trial out. Period………………. State cash cow?

Oh, and here’s the beauty part: I can’t legally be excused from going to collect my whopping 15 bucks because I didn’t serve six months ago…..nope; I wasn’t one of “the chosen.” Yes, I am starting to really hate my fellow “chosen” citizens……. They get to miss out on this song and dance for a full year!

Why me? I’m never chosen because I will not answer their silly questions. I just don’t feel that it is just. If our judicial system is all about stacking juries, I do believe I’d rather give the money to the state. Then again, I could set an example….

I should just go and plead the 5th to every question asked of me! That would be funny! Seriously, though, these jerkasaureses do ask VERY personal questions. My personal life is none of their damn business, so I usually turn it on them. I think by pleading the 5th, they would assume guilt on my part and let me leave, which would be fine by me.

Think about it. Are you being really judged by your peers? You wish. I suppose my frustration comes from knowing that our courts are rigged by lawyers picking and choosing people to influence a jury, much like the media stacking the deck to influence the general public.

The icing on the cake? This trial happens on St. Patrick’s Day!!! What a load of blarney! Seems as though the luck o the Irish has run out for Kells……


19 thoughts on “Jury Duty: Chapter Three

  1. Tell them that you would ALWAYS convict anyone that has the misfortune of having you chosen for their jury, you will not be called back. Worked for my friend about 20 years ago………….. Same thing if you tell them that you would NEVER convict anyone that has the fortune of having you chosen for their jury.

    • I tell you, Dusty, these silly lawyers ask me questions that will only favor their case. For instance; this last time ( or was it the time before?) they asked me if I would feel comfortable with another person handling me against my will. (This was a sex abuse case, so I thought I’d screw with them.) I told them that if I were drowning, I would be panicking, and would flail and appear to not want aid; but, were I in grave danger, I should very much like someone to save me against my will. I was dismissed.

      I swear if another lawyer asks me if I’ve been sexually abused or raped or overstock tomatoes (well, they really haven’t asked that) I am going to puke!!

      Sadly, I know the answer to their guilt or innocence. Can an actor act his way out of the truth? One need only lift the wall. Now, with traffic accidents, it is a horse of a different colour! People’s thoughts whilst driving are completely opposite, you see.

      Perhaps you could attest to my mental issues, and I could forego this useless round of second-rate theatrics…….

      • It has been many years since I have been called to jury duty and I have only once been seated on one. I get excused because I personally know nearly all the lawyers and judges. I haven’t ever been asked if I have been raped…………… however, I will be ready if I ever am.

  2. Every three years for me–February or April. Go to trial for a week. Pocket my $86.

    Just had number four last February. Will need to have them break out the hearing aid for the next one?

    • Probably best to tune them out…

      I tell you, I just do not understand why they just don’t draw 14 names and go with the pick of the draw. That is fair……but the American legal system doesn’t really play by those rules, does it?

  3. First you must appear to want to be in a jury. The lawyers don’t trutst someone who “wants” to be a juror. Smile, be eager, even interested, especially when “no one is looking”. Second I have always been asked what my education is and it would seem a MBA is not who the lawyers want to judge their case.

    • Don’t know if I wanna risk the eager approach; I witnessed two eager beavers get chosen. The MBA approach on the other hand….that could be interesting…..

      How is it that I am chosen year after a year and my husband has been chosen only once since the 80’s??!!

      • A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be
        dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think
        of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided
        to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he
        asked if he could approach the bench.

        “Your Honor,” he said, ” I must be excused from this trial because
        I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man
        in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and
        I said ‘He’s a crook! He’s guilty, guilty, guilty’ So your Honor, I
        could not possibly stay on this jury!”

        With a tired annoyance the judge replied, “Get back in the jury box.
        That man is his lawyer!

  4. I’ve been picked twice for jury duty and both cases were settled before jury selection. Of course, I lost both days of work just the same. Had to wait for my piddling check in the mail.

    And are you that anxious to see my Phoebe naked? 😉

  5. The Constitution guarantees defendants in criminal and civil cases a right to a Trial By Jury.

    As citizens of The Republic, we have a duty to perform jury service when called in order that this Right may be preserved.

    That anyone on the Right would complain about having to go is hypocritical and speaks to a lack of Virtue.

    • Bob, I agree with everything you say; my problem is in the American judicial system. Let’s talk about jury selection. If we are to be tried by a jury of our “peers”, what does that mean? “An equal before the law”. It’s an odd choice of words as it so general.
      Is the CEO who lives in a Manhattan apartment my peer? In other words, should jury summons be sent to only people in your “hood” that are of the same line of wealth? If you are Lutheran, should the summons only be sent to Lutherans?

      Now, when an individual endures voir dire, they are given the basic outline of the case and asked questions which will keep them as a juror or boot them. A person may speak the truth or say what he pleases under oath as the lawyer stacks his deck. (An actor reading an actor.)

      I just feel that they should choose names, and go with their lot. Seems fair. People know right from wrong…..except sociopaths……wonder if Ted Bundy ever had jury duty…..sorry; off on a tangent…. Instead, you are put through hours (literally) of intrusive questioning as if you are the defendant in the case. How is this virtuous?

      In my opinion, it is not fair. I tell you, I’m a very honest person, and I do not mind doing jury duty. My problem is that it wastes my time due to its incompetence. Now I think it’s high time I come and troll TCOTS……. (Frau Kiepzumfrumflopin is my peer.)

  6. Lighten up Bobbe, this is just good natured poking fun at jury duty that many people do. A nice read from the more serious matters.

  7. Good! Leave the juriy-boxes to be filled with unemployed liberals who will free the guys who robbed your home and award millions to someone who slipped on a floor in your store!

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