Whenever I see pictures of people, my mind automatically captions their words. It so happens that Prince William and his lovely wife, Kate, are in town (she has a title too, but for the life of me all I can think of is Princess Bubblegum of Candy Kingdom – curse you Cartoon Network!!) and spoke at the British Consul for conservation of wildlife.
Little did they know, they’d be introduced to fellow “pro-conservationists”, Hillary Clinton, her daughter, Chelsea, and Chelsea’s husband, Marc Sumthinruther.
If you step into their minds, the words for captioning come out. I will get us all started…..because I can’t resist!! Now, because I am not computer-savvy enough to achieve the enviable bubble over the head, I shall write in dialogue format.
Prince: My God, but you’re quite small.
Hillary: Magical purple unicorns fly counter clockwise.
Chelsea: I love him.
Marc. Bitches need to step back…the boy is mine.
Hillary: Prozak works!
Kate: Silly twat probably took it while pregnant.
Chelsea: Never leave me.
Marc: Get your filthy paws off him, Chelsea!
Hillary: Here in America, if you don’t like our jokes, we secretly give you the middle finger, see?
Kate: Dear, God. She’s certifiable.
Chelsea: I love you, Wills.
Marc: Finally! A little mano a mano time….
Hillary: God Bless America! Land that I Love!!
Prince: Is she joking?
Kate: Just smile.
Hillary: Now we all know that Churchill was a bit of a schlep who wasn’t too fond of conservation, but there is new hope…
Prince and old lady: Is she possibly this shamefully stupid?
Kate: I’ve got your hope right here, bitch.
Prince and Kate: Dear Mother in Heaven! Is she wearing (take a breath) Birkenstocks??!!
Prince: A Republican saunters into a pub and asks a prince, “What the hell are you doing surrounded by all these twits?” To which the prince replies, “Cause they’re the only ones dim enough to laugh at my jokes!”
Audience: Oh, he’s funny! That jab at the Republicans was genius! Brilliant! Spot on! Hysterical!
Chelsea: I love him.
C’mon. Give us a caption then.