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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away….

It is a period of civil war. Rebel
conservatives, striking from a heartland base,

have won their first victory
against the evil Obama Empire.

During the battle, rebel spies managed
to steal secret plans to the Empire’s
ultimate weapon, the Obama; an
armored space alien with enough
power to destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by the Empire’s sinister agents, (NSA, CIA, FBI, IRS, &c.)
Princess Kells races home aboard her
starship, custodian of the stolen plans
that can save her people and restore
freedom to the galaxy….

 

Unbeknownst to most folks, on this day she actually

raced home to the syzygy celebration which, as legend

has it, brought forth her trusted counselor, M.

While she never questioned his judgment,

She oftentimes questioned his strategy.

 

Like his new recruitment ad……..

 

Wanted: Amazon Warriors (no experience necessary; will train those able to handle the Force)

 

Thankfully, she talked the birthday boy into pursuing the aid of the Ewoks instead.