Hashtag TrumpBible

I played on Twitter over the past couple of days. In honor of CNN interviewing Donald Trump about the Bible and his less than impressive answers, Twitter took up the challenge with #TrumpBible…

C’mon Kells, even you have to admit that some of these are funny.

utahprez9:30am via Hootsuite

CNN: Favorite part of the Bible?

Trump: The luxurious Corinthian leather binding & the gold inlaid letters. Terrific. Classy.


utahprez9:25am via Hootsuite

I am the way, and the Trump, and the life. I mean have you SEEN my poll numbers lately? Big leads. Yuuuuge leads. Fantastic. #trumpbible

utahprez7:26am via Hootsuite

And then King Trump said to the Hebrew armies, “There will be so many victories, people will be tired of winning that much!” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 10:46pm via Hootsuite

“Resist the devil, and he will flee from you…but Rosie O’Donnell won’t. She keeps coming back. Stupid. Worse than Satan.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 10:42pm via Hootsuite

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it yuge and classy.”#trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 10:31pm via Hootsuite

“Lucifer tried a hostile takeover. Real dummy. Should have waited for the IPO and got more Angel financing. Total loser.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 10:25pm via Hootsuite

“The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender. Then God made bankruptcy laws. Tremendous businessman.”#trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 10:15pm via Hootsuite

“Revelation. Total end of the world kind of stuff. Small thinkers go with 4 horsemen. I’ll have at least 12. Gonna be yuuuuge.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 9:47pm via Hootsuite

“I love the Jews. They circumcise – and everybody knows Jewish women can’t resist anything that is 10% off. My kind of people.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 9:40pm via Hootsuite

“For unto you is born this day in the city of Queens a Savior, which is Trump the Landlord.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 9:34pm via Hootsuite

“The Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed many times. Not good. If I had been the developer, it would have only been built once.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 9:25pm via Hootsuite

“Jesus only raised Lazarus from the dead. What a lightweight, I resurrected all of Atlantic City. Let him top that.”#trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 9:21pm via Hootsuite

“Jesus said you can’t build a house on the sand. No vision. He’s obviously never seen my properties in Atlantic City.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 9:03pm via Hootsuite

“Yea, though I walk through the Valley of Death, I shall fear no hedge fund manager or his carried interest.”#trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 9:02pm via Hootsuite

“Turn the other cheek is for New Testament losers like Jeb Bush. Eye for an eye is my style. Biblical wrath of God stuff.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 8:58pm via Hootsuite

“You know who didn’t believe in Obamacare? The Good Samaritan, that’s who. That’s free healthcare. I like that guy.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 7:41pm via Hootsuite

“Noah was not as good with real estate as I am. All that shoreline and he never built a single resort. Unbelievable.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 2:29pm via Hootsuite

“Joshua was a piker. Trumpets? Really? I would have brought the New York Philharmonic and the Rockettes.”#trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 2:23pm via Hootsuite

“God said the Jews are the Chosen People. I’ve chosen many Jewish bankers to handle my deals, so I’m like God in that way.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 2:16pm via Hootsuite

“Jesus called Peter the rock. Well, my rock is a diamond. I’m really, really rich.” #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 2:14pm via Hootsuite

Jonah? Stupid guy. I mean who is dumb enough to get swallowed by a whale? Not me. I keep whales in my yuge aquarium. #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 12:52pm via Hootsuite

God created man in his own image. I gave him a job at my yuge hotel. Women? They came from the rib joint down the street. #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 12:49pm via Hootsuite

I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. You think pyramids build themselves? Stupid. Like your leaders. #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 12:44pm via Hootsuite

That Jesus guy – a certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. #trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 12:36pm via Hootsuite

“When was the last time anybody saw us beating Babylonia in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat them all the time. All the time.” #TrumpBible

utahprezAug 29, 10:08am via Hootsuite

The Bible? I like it – but it’s no Art of the Deal. My book was yuge. #TrumpBible

utahprezAug 29, 10:04am via Hootsuite

Hebrews wandering in the desert? Their leaders were stupid. I would have lead them to Palm Springs.#trumpbible

utahprezAug 29, 9:54am via Hootsuite

“That Solomon guy is smart but his architects are terrible. I would have used more marble in the Temple. Most luxurious ever.” #TrumpBible

utahprezAug 29, 9:50am via Hootsuite

“Egyptians? Can’t organize a one car parade. China is the real enemy. Have you heard of them? They are yuuuuge.” #TrumpBible

utahprezAug 29, 9:48am via Hootsuite

“Fire and brimstone? Total garbage. China is responsible for climate change.” #TrumpBible

utahprezAug 29, 9:45am via Hootsuite

“Parable of the Talents? None of those guys had the talent to be on my show. They’re fired. All of them.”#TrumpBible

utahprezAug 29, 9:44am via Hootsuite

Moses melted the golden calf. Not me. I would have used it as the centerpiece of my new casino. It would have been fabulous. #trumpbible

2 thoughts on “Hashtag TrumpBible

  1. Okay, I laughed about the Rosie one, and the Lucifer one, but I really didn’t think it was a big deal that he didn’t want to give out his favourite Bible verse. Maybe they should ask Obama what his favourite Quran verse is. I already know Hillary’s favourite Bible verse: Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.

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