Unrest on the Electoral College Campus

Students at the Electoral College held a protest Friday demanding that the College create both “safe spaces” for Democrat members and “spaces of social justice democracy” for all socialist students.

When it was pointed out that Democrats are, in fact, socialists, the protest leaders said, “Yeah, cool. Then just one really big safe space will do.”

A video of Friday’s protest shows a large group of Democrat protesters preventing Republican electors from passing over a foot bridge on the Electoral College campus while allowing access to Democrat members who knew the secret passphrase (it was the first line of the song “My Shot” from the hit Broadway musical “Hamilton!”).

In addition to blocking access to the Alexander Hamilton Memorial Good Marksmanship Pedestrian Overpass, a key bridge on the route to many classes at the Electoral College, the wall of protesters also prevented white students from studying in the Student Union and stopped traffic at the main intersection in the front of campus due white privilege and Donald Trump’s racism.

One of the protest’s leaders can be heard yelling “Whose College?” into a megaphone. The wall of protesters respond in unison, screaming “our College!” After blocking the bridge, the protesters moved to occupy the front of the Electoral College student store. The video captures a protester placing a “notice of eviction” on the side of the student store.

“You are hereby notified by the students of the Electoral College to vacate the premises immediately,” the eviction notice states. “Electoral College administration wrongly allocated votes to Donald Trump to, keeping in line with its intensifying legacy of prioritizing adherence to the Constitution over Democrat delegate feels and make no mistake, Democrat feels are hurt. We want all final exams scheduled for December 19th to be postponed until we are briefed about how the Russians influenced the crafting of the questions…or maybe they should just be cancelled because we all know Russians aren’t for free and fair exams.”

The notice then demands the Electoral College create safe spaces for both Democrat and socialist electors because “the work that these student-run spaces produce indoctrination tools used to recruit and retain members of the Hillary Clinton fan club and provide support for the socialist student community that is invaluable and must be affirmed by the College. Both groups are always against Russian hacking of elections when we lose.”

The notice also includes a threatening ultimatum to the College, stating “if you fail to vacate Trump’s majority vote immediately, community action will continue to escalate with the goal of eliminating any remaining amount of logic, reason or recognition of laws or rules. You mess with us and we will hashtag your ass. #hurtfeelsmatter! And we will shut down the football team! We have one, right?” The students also added that they believe that “This space expansion is one step in an ongoing process to remedy the historical devaluation of small and insignificant states like California, Illinois and New York.”

Asked what that meant, the protesters said “Because people in big cities like New York, Los Angeles and Chicago know stuff about stuff and we should listen to them.”

After posting the notice, the protesters continued to disrupt their campus by leading a chant through the university’s student union, where many students go to study.

“They are being quite childish,” declared one bystander watching the protests. “I agree with the right to protest but disrupting the peace of other students is not OK. It’s just an attempt to disrupt final exams that are scheduled for today. To paraphrase a black, soon to be retired President, “Elections have consequences, and at the end of the day, Trump won.”

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4 thoughts on “Unrest on the Electoral College Campus

  1. Here is how we help the “Snowflakes”.

    1) Eliminate the Federal Student Loan Program. Need a loan go to a private bank, mom & dad, work to pay for it or get a scholarship.
    2) Withhold all federal funds to secondary education institutions. They should all be funded at the state level or by private business partnerships.
    3) Do away with tenure at any university that receives tax payer funds. If they want tenure they can work hard and get accepted by a private university.
    4) After degree received follow advice from flasawdust.

      • My two sons both received STEM degrees. One received his Masters in Architecture. 14 walked the stage in Architecture while 50+ received degrees in social sciences (dead end degrees.)

        Point well taken.

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