Democrats Announce New Leak Investigation

๐‘†๐‘๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘˜๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ƒ๐‘’๐‘™๐‘œ๐‘ ๐‘– ๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘š๐‘  ๐‘ ๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ข๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘› ๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘ฆ ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘™๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘˜๐‘’๐‘Ÿ “๐‘ ๐‘–๐‘™๐‘’๐‘›๐‘ก ๐‘๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘‘๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘‘๐‘™๐‘ฆ” By: Michael Smith, Chief Political Correspondent Washington, D.C. โ€“ Today, at a hastily called press conference outside House Hearing Room #235 and wearing a tired, constipated look, Democrats Adam Schiff, Chairman of the House Select Committee on Intelligence, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and…

Straw Men Making Straw Purchases

The California legislature just passed a sensible straw control law declaring the following: No straw dispensers may be painted black or have any sort of handle. “Bump” dispensers what distribute more than one straw at a time may not be sold. Dispensers that may contain more than 10 straws will be confiscated and not to…

Satire? Maybe…

Various reactions to Trump’s 30 minute meeting with Putin running for over 2 hours: MSNBC: “Putin and Trump discuss cover-up of election hacking. Trump is a fucking Russian stooge.” NBC: “Doesn’t matter what they talked about, Trump will lie about it anyway and then we will just make shit up.” CBS: “Trump shows Putin more…

Unrest on the Electoral College Campus

Students at the Electoral College held a protest Friday demanding that the College create both โ€œsafe spacesโ€ for Democrat members and โ€œspaces of social justice democracyโ€ for all socialist students. When it was pointed out that Democrats are, in fact, socialists, the protest leaders said, “Yeah, cool. Then just one really big safe space will…

Oprah Interviews Michelle Obama

Recently, Oprah Winfrey scored a wide ranging, exclusive interview with Michelle Obama, the outgoing First Lady of the United States. Focusing on what life was going to be like after her husband leaves office in January of 2017, Mrs. Obama had some pointed things to say about their new circumstances. In the interview, Mrs. Obama…

Sightings

For those on the lookout for actual Hildebeast sightings in 2016, recent reports could reinforce your belief in the mythical creature. Chappaqua in north Westchester County, though, might not strike you as a place where these massive ape-like creatures could possibly show up. But this is exactly where resident Beldar Galavan saw one for the…

Clinton Blames Video for Loss

Asked about her crushing and shocking loss when all the media and pollsters predicted her to win, Hillary said her loss was due to Russian hacking inspired by the YouTube video of Vladimir Putin titled, “Vladimir Putin: Muscle Man of Action” reportedly made by Coptic Christian, Nakoula Basseley Nakoula. Speaking to her supporters in their…

Trump Movie Reviews

Trump Movie Reviews for this week: Deadpool: โ€œLoved it. Not a loser at all. Not low energy. He’s a doer like me. People ask me if I liked Deadpool, I said I once disavowed Wade Wilson but I changed my mind. Glad I did. But he is from Regina, Saskatchewan so not eligible for president.…

(Snickering in the Peanut Gallery)

Did you read my recent post about Capitalism?ย  I received some pretty firm push-back from several of my friends over that post. Say, in a totally un-related subject: have you heard the privately owned, totally ‘free market,’ Capitalist corporation known as the NFL is threatening the people of Arizona?ย  It seems that the NFL is…

Tribute To Jason Collins

Sung to the tune of “See the USA in your Chevrolet“: See the gay today in the NBA, Obama is giving him a call, Watch the NBA, see the gays today, Being gay is the greatest thing of all. On the free throw line or the pick and roll, Performance is sweeter, When you donโ€™t…

The Libtards and Their Agenda to Advance American Idiocracy

This should be self-explanatory (if it isn’t, you’re most likely a victim of the Librtrards’ campaign to turn you into an idiot): This message brought to you by: And: s everywhere.

Meritocracies are for Greedy People: Compassion Dictates โ€œFairnessโ€

I have had it with all the mentally incapacitated people who claim meritocracies are better than government-dictated โ€œfairness.โ€ย  We all know that they only want to justify their greed.ย  The idea of meritocracy is always pushed by those who have an โ€œinโ€ with the system.ย  You never see the poor, disadvantaged or down-trodden asking for…

Pure Satirical/Sarcastic Red Meat for the Right

Leading Geneticist: Human Intelligence is Slowly Declining Democrats Gain Strength in Legislatures Now, do you suppose there might just be a causal relationship here?ย  (actually, I’m sorry: this isnโ€™t so much satire/sarcasm โ€“ not when you consider that Leftist ideology is gaining on a global level and the first story is about a global level…

How is Gun Control Related to Stopping Computer Viruses?

I have the solution to computer viruses. Since computers get viruses from malicious people who intentionally go out of their way to infect other peoples’ computers, we should ban ALL computers. That’s right: BAN COMPUTERS! You see, if no one has a computer, then there won’t be any more computer viruses. What’s more, anyone against…

I Have Solved the Poverty Problem!

I was reading this story when I figured out how to solve our poverty problem: 8.5 Million Americans Left Labor Force In Obama’s First Term The Bureau of Labor Statistics released jobs numbers for January Friday showing that nonfarm payroll employment increased by 157,000 and the unemployment rate rose to 7.9 percent. Lost in these…