Straw Men Making Straw Purchases

The California legislature just passed a sensible straw control law declaring the following: No straw dispensers may be painted black or have any sort of handle. “Bump” dispensers what distribute more than one straw at a time may not be sold. Dispensers that may contain more than 10 straws will be confiscated and not to…

Satire? Maybe…

Various reactions to Trump’s 30 minute meeting with Putin running for over 2 hours: MSNBC: “Putin and Trump discuss cover-up of election hacking. Trump is a fucking Russian stooge.” NBC: “Doesn’t matter what they talked about, Trump will lie about it anyway and then we will just make shit up.” CBS: “Trump shows Putin more…

Unrest on the Electoral College Campus

Students at the Electoral College held a protest Friday demanding that the College create both “safe spaces” for Democrat members and “spaces of social justice democracy” for all socialist students. When it was pointed out that Democrats are, in fact, socialists, the protest leaders said, “Yeah, cool. Then just one really big safe space will…

Oprah Interviews Michelle Obama

Recently, Oprah Winfrey scored a wide ranging, exclusive interview with Michelle Obama, the outgoing First Lady of the United States. Focusing on what life was going to be like after her husband leaves office in January of 2017, Mrs. Obama had some pointed things to say about their new circumstances. In the interview, Mrs. Obama…

Sightings

For those on the lookout for actual Hildebeast sightings in 2016, recent reports could reinforce your belief in the mythical creature. Chappaqua in north Westchester County, though, might not strike you as a place where these massive ape-like creatures could possibly show up. But this is exactly where resident Beldar Galavan saw one for the…

Clinton Blames Video for Loss

Asked about her crushing and shocking loss when all the media and pollsters predicted her to win, Hillary said her loss was due to Russian hacking inspired by the YouTube video of Vladimir Putin titled, “Vladimir Putin: Muscle Man of Action” reportedly made by Coptic Christian, Nakoula Basseley Nakoula. Speaking to her supporters in their…