So Much for the “Smartest President Ever”

I thought Obama was a lawyer??? He must not be, or he wasn’t a very good one (maybe that’s why his transcripts are sequestered?), because I thought one of the very first things they teach lawyers is to NEVER ask a question you don’t already know the answer to. Well, Obama pretty much did that…

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Hobos On The Range

This one is for you, Kells… Oh, give me a home where the hobos can roam Where the homeless and the meth heads play Where seldom is heard an intelligible word And their eyes are just cloudy all day Hobos, hobos on the range Where the tweakers and the coked out hookers play Where often…

Negrophobia

Maybe I’ve posted this before, I can’t recall. But, in light of all the talk of poor, oppressed white people, it can’t hurt to post it again. I have friends who will not go into a store if they see only black people in there. I have co-workers who would  mess their pants before stopping…

Standin’ On The Ground

George Zimmerman, the man who shot a kid for walking at night, shares a last name with Songwriter Robert Zimmerman, aka Bob Dylan. Thus, the following parody was gonna get written by somebody. How many hoodies must I see pass by before one stops to burgle my pad? And how can one tell if a…

THE EGGMAN CRACK’D

Put Abbey Road, side 2, on the turntable, and proceed to read the following story, a tale of greed, violence, and mayhem, in which your humble author twists and perverts the lyrics of  the Fab Four to his own nefarious purposes: CHAPTER ONE- A Beat Less Than a Tune “So, the walrus was Paul? The…

The Lutheran Menace

I had forgotten that the funniest man on the interwebs, Dave Burge – aka Iowahawk – had already detailed the rise of sectarian fundamentalism in the restive Lutheran enclaves of the upper Midwest. From 2007: Midwest Lutherans Largely Reject Violence Chicago – By an almost two-to-one margin, Midwest Lutherans voiced solid opposition to decapitation, suicide…

The Clear and Present Danger – Amish Terrorism

DATELINE: MILLERSBURG, OHIO – February 7, 2012 Late this afternoon, Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet “Big Sis” Napolitano raised the national threat level to chartreuse from pastel blue, indicating the level of seriousness that the Federal government places on this latest terrorist attack. In the gravest threat to national security since the Great Electric Milking…